Category Archives: Advice

Dear The Beauster: Honey Badger Progressives Are Pouncing On Me

by Beau Hebert

Dear The Beauster,

I was recently at a party where I was nearly crucified for questioning the wisdom of some of the Seattle City Council’s newly proposed tax measures. I am a registered Democrat and consider myself quite Liberal, but apparently not Liberal enough for Seattle. Despite the fact that I have an MBA and a strong understanding of economics, should I keep my mouth shut on these issues to avoid being likened to Donald Trump and persecuted by Honey Badger Progressives?

Sincerely,

Liberal, but not Liberal enough for Seattle Continue reading Dear The Beauster: Honey Badger Progressives Are Pouncing On Me

Dear The Beauster: My Son Has Zero Ambition

by Beau Hebert 

Dear The Beauster,

I genuinely dislike my son. He’s fourteen and thinks he’s king of the world. He’s lazy, insensitive and rude. All he does is stay cooped up in his room smoking marijuana, listening to loud music. He gets terrible grades and has nothing but disdain for everyone, especially me. When I ask him what he wants to be as an adult he says things like, “serial killer,” or “crackhead.” His father is long gone, so I’m left to deal with him on my own. He refuses to receive counseling and is basically ruining my life. Any advice? Continue reading Dear The Beauster: My Son Has Zero Ambition

Dear the Beauster: My Partner is Suffering From Birthday Narcissism

by Beau Hebert

Dear The Beauster,

I’ve been dating a guy for almost six months and things were really cool until July, or what he refers to as his “Birthday Month.” Suddenly, it became all about him and he pretty much demanded that everyone buy him drinks and presents and dinner, compliment him a bunch and throw multiple parties in his honor. I’m happy to make a big deal of someone on their actual birthday, but for a whole month? Really?

Sincerely,

Beacon Hill Woman disturbed by Boyfriend’s Birthday Obsession Continue reading Dear the Beauster: My Partner is Suffering From Birthday Narcissism

Dear The Beauster: I Can’t Stand My Husband’s Third-Person References Anymore!

by Beau Hebert

 

Dear The Beauster,

My husband, a proud alumnus of the University of Washington, recently started referring to himself in the third person as “Dave The Dawg.” I fully support his Husky pride, but find it annoying when, for example, I ask him how he’s doing and he replies, “Dave The Dawg is all right.” His friends have also said they pretty much hate it when he says things like, “Dave The Dawg wants to bitch-slap these refs!” or “Dave The Dawg needs a brewski.” As “Dear The Beauster,” you are renowned for referencing yourself in the third person. Can you share any coping mechanisms your wife uses in dealing with your whole third-person referencing thing? Continue reading Dear The Beauster: I Can’t Stand My Husband’s Third-Person References Anymore!

Dear the Beauster: I’m Having Zero Luck With Personal Ads

by Beau Hebert

Dear The Beauster,

I’ve been divorced for three years now and am just starting to get back into the game. Nightclubs and bars are not my scene, so most recent dates have been with women I’ve met through personal ads in The Seattle Weekly. The gals I’m meeting, though, are very different than as advertised – and not in a good way. I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but more honesty in these personals would save me a lot of time, disappointment and expense. Do you have any advice on how to navigate the choppy seas of personal ads?

Sincerely,

Tall, masculine, forty-something male who loves to cook and has a heart of gold. Continue reading Dear the Beauster: I’m Having Zero Luck With Personal Ads

Dear The Beauster: How Do I Avoid Financial Auto-Geddon?

by Beau Hebert 

Dear The Beauster,

My husband and I are in the market for a new car. I’m conservative when it comes to major consumer purchases, but my husband wants to “roll in something fly.” We’re carrying a lot of debt and a fancy car seems like a bad use of our limited funds. How can I keep my hubs from committing a financial auto-geddon?

 Sincerely,

 Anxious about Auto-Geddon in West Seattle Continue reading Dear The Beauster: How Do I Avoid Financial Auto-Geddon?

Dear The Beauster: I Want to Turn My Passion for Spanikopita Into a Business

by Beau Hebert 

Dear The Beauster,

My sister and I are budding chefs who love to cook and throw dinner parties and are seriously thinking about opening our own restaurant. She’s great with soups and breads and I’m sort of famous for my Mediterranean cuisine. People go gaga over my spanikopita. I know you operate a couple of restaurants and so I thought you might have some advice for us.

Sincerely, South Seattle Foodie for Life. Continue reading Dear The Beauster: I Want to Turn My Passion for Spanikopita Into a Business