by Roy Fisher, MA LMFT
Question: I’m having a really hard time believing that I’m successful at anything right now. As a parent, I feel like I’m dropping the ball. As an employee, working from home is difficult because I’m always distracted by something going on that takes me away from getting tasks accomplished. As a partner, I don’t think I have a lot to give to my relationship because I don’t feel good about myself. I have always seen myself as competent, so this is all new and I’m not handling it very well at all. I’m cranky and lash out but want to find a new way of dealing with everything — help!
Continue reading Ask a Therapist: Letting Go of Self-Criticism During a Pandemic
by Liz Covey, LMHC
Question: I think this year might kill me. What can I do to survive the seemingly never-ending onslaught of bad news?
Continue reading Ask a Therapist: How Not to Drown in the Deluge of the Negativity That Is 2020
by Roy Fisher, MA LMFT
Question: I’m an 18-year-old recent high-school grad. I was really looking forward to heading off to college this fall but because of the pandemic, my school is choosing to only offer online classes. My relationship with my parents is good, I was just looking forward to having the opportunity to be more independent and figure out who I am. I’m concerned that by staying home, we’ll all fall into the same patterns. I’m worried how my parents might react to this if I tell them how I’m feeling. Any ideas on how to have the conversation would be really appreciated.
Continue reading Ask a Therapist: I’m Supposed to Be Away at College but COVID Has Me Stuck at Home — How Do I Tell My Parents I Need Space?
by Roy Fisher
Question: I’m in an interracial relationship, I’m Black and he’s white. We’ve never explicitly spoken about our racial differences. I wouldn’t say we’ve taken a colorblind approach; I’ve shared many of my experiences as a Black woman, it’s just that we haven’t spent a lot of time talking specifically about race. We’re expecting our first child in a couple of months and with the recent events in our country we’ve realized there are many conversations that we need to have with each other. Any suggestions on where we should start?
There seem to be a couple of different topics to explore 1) How do my partner and I discuss our racial differences? And 2) How might these differences inform how we parent?
Continue reading Ask a Therapist: As an Interracial Couple Expecting Their First Child, How Do We Begin Having Critical Conversations
by Liz Covey, LMHC
Question: My kids are positively driving me crazy. At first, I was enjoying all the time together, but now I just want them to get out of the house for a few hours so I don’t go crazy. I know what I’m supposed to do, but I can’t do it. I have even read stuff online that has been helpful, but honestly, it’s just TOO MUCH parenting. Now all the camps are closed for the summer and I hear that school is pretty unlikely to reopen in September. What suggestions do you have for a mom at the end of her rope?
Your question reminds me of a tagline from an old movie, The Royal Tenenbaums, that has stuck with me over the years. It’s this: Family isn’t a word, it’s a sentence.
Never has that double entendre been more poignant than today, as our worlds have practically shrunk down to the size of just our families, and we as parents face the undulating highs and lows that come with this new and challenging reality. So, thank you, Reader, for highlighting a feature of this year’s mayhem that doesn’t seem to be getting the attention it deserves.
Continue reading Ask a Therapist: Tips for Weathering Parental Burnout
by Roy Fisher
Question: I’m going through a divorce and my soon-to-be ex-wife does anything she can do to get under my skin. Every chance she gets she tries to take me back to court for something. She seems to enjoy making my life miserable. We have 3 children and I am worried what impact this will have on them. If I try for sole custody, that makes me look like I’m trying to keep the children away from her. I want them to have a relationship with their mother, but I am concerned about what she says or does around them. Any suggestions on how not to lose my mind? I’m really worried about how this will affect the children.
Continue reading Ask a Therapist: How Can I Keep a Divorce From Impacting My Children?
by Liz Covey
Question: This shutdown thing feels like it will last forever, even though I know it won’t. At first I was sort of rolling with it, I got some masks, and checked in with my neighbors and all my family members. But now I’m beginning to unravel a bit. I’m not really sleeping well, and my husband tells me I’m being really negative. Should I try to remain positive, even though I’m starting to kind of lose it? There is so much advice out there, I can barely stand to even look at it anymore. What should I do??
Continue reading Ask a Therapist: Learning to Live in an Indefinite Crisis
by Liz Covey
My 13 y.o. son is a nice kid. He’s pretty shy, but hasn’t ever had trouble in school with the work or with making friends. About a year ago, he started to complain about going to school, which was not a surprise, but his complaining turned into many sick days and some trouble catching up at the end of the year. This year, he is not wanting to go at all anymore. We’ve tried bribing him with his favorite things like extra video game time and going to the trampoline park, but those aren’t working anymore. We’re wondering if we should be more serious about our consequences, or what we should do. When we take his privileges away for not going to school he says we’re being cruel, that he has too much stress and we’re punishing him for that. We don’t know what to do, and the school hasn’t been able to help us much since he isn’t there hardly at all. What do you suggest? Continue reading Ask A Therapist: My Child Refuses to go to School
Counselors Roy Fisher and Liz Covey answer readers’ questions for South Seattle Emerald’s “Ask A Therapist.” Have a question about a relationship? Wondering about the struggles of being a parent? Others likely have the same questions and Covey and Fisher bring years of professional experience to provide their insights. Continue reading Ask a Therapist: Framing Limits for an Adolescent
Counselors Roy Fisher and Liz Covey answer readers’ questions for South Seattle Emerald’s “Ask A Therapist.” Have a question about a relationship? Wondering about the struggles of being a parent? Others likely have the same questions and Covey and Fisher bring years of professional experience to provide their insights.
In this article, Liz Covey addresses a reader’s question about holding perpetrators of childhood abuse accountable, and healing from that trauma.
If you have a question, please click here and let us know. We will select two questions each month to answer. The form requires no email address or identification and is completely anonymous. If you are in crisis or in immediate need of care, please contact Crisis Connections at 1-866-427-4747.
Question: how can adult survivors of childhood abuse do more to hold perpetrators accountable? After all the healing’s done. In my case, I am wondering about the possibility of either bring a public display to the perpetrators home via fliers, signs, etc., but I also know our courts are designed to make a person whole again after suffering personal injury. I’ll be living with my disability, due to emotional and physical abuse for my lifetime. What do you know about the possibility of filing a personal injury claim against a living perpetrator childhood and adult abuse?”
Continue reading Ask A Therapist: Healing from and holding accountable perpetrators of childhood abuse